Spankin' New

Here I am, officially making my first blog posting. I'm a blogger - somehow, that sounds totally wrong. In any case, here's a quick background update - I have a broken leg, and I'm stuck in Drezdenko, Poland until this whole thing is over. I'm looking at two more weeks in my cast and three weeks of rehabilitation before I can walk like a human being again. During this time, I've decided to try to entertain myself, and you, with my musings on basically everything.

So here goes nothin'.

I've decided to make this first thrilling post about Polish TV. I've watched more TV than ever before in the last 2 months, and I'm watching things no person in their right mind would want to watch. But when you've left the house three times in the last 2 months, and those three times were to go to the hospital, then what the hell do you expect??

I've watched two Steven Seagal movies in the last two weeks. Both of those movies were made after 2005.

Passenger 57 is on tonight, and I can't wait. I also watched Demolition Man last week - SOBER.

I *hate* Mango TV. What is Mango TV? You ask. It's not even a real channel - it's infomercials for the stupidest shit you've ever seen in your life. I mean, infomercials in America only sell good products, right? But somehow I just can't tear my eyes off of the Pro-V Juicer...


Then there are the midday weirdo "gameshows." They're not even gameshows really, they're like TV puzzles and people call in and win some cash. Things like - give me a name with two Z's in it (welcome to Poland), or find the picture out of 15 pictures of coffee beans that has a human face in it, or find the 5 differences from two photos of a kitten. Its totally weird and people call in and say the stupidest shit. One time, some guy just started gargling on the phone. This is all live, by the way. No to mention, the women who host these little shows are so fucking annoying. But when it's 1pm and all but 2 channels are running these shows, what's a girl supposed to do??


Finally, I've decided to study up on how to become a forensic investigator solely by watching CSI. By CSI I mean Las Vegas, New York, and Miami. Don't bother me on Thursday nights, because CSI is on from 8pm until 2am - continuously. By the time 2am rolls around, my eyes are burning and swollen, and all I can think about is fingerprinting everything within reach.


Luckily, my one salvation has been that I've found a website where I can download Season 5 of Lost - incidentally the best show known to man.


More TV developments to follow, I'm sure.